


Only Shooting Stars Break The Mold

by Sweetysweetssugarytreats



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Caffeine Addiction, Crack, First Impressions, High School, M/M, That confidence though, The pick-up line, energy drinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 22:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20496611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetysweetssugarytreats/pseuds/Sweetysweetssugarytreats
Summary: Never in his seventeen years and five months of unstimulating life has Gintoki been more turned on.





	Only Shooting Stars Break The Mold

**Author's Note:**

> Another unplanned crackfic I wrote in half a day after reading some interesting article on caffeine, I think I might have seen someone combine coffee and energy drinks in a random show some time ago? Of course I had to make my own version.
> 
> Also... I wanted to prove to myself I could write a *very short* oneshot... but that's not happening anytime soon, is it?

Gintoki sinks in his chair with a tired sigh, a look around the class confirms what he already knows: zombies.

Not the _literal zombies_-kind, but the _so exhausted you're past the human species_-kind. Maybe it's because of the exams, maybe because of the confusing weather, or maybe everyone in this class is as much the epitome of laziness as he is and he's found his people, who knows? If a doctor stepped foot into the classroom right now their admission to the hospital would be as fast as the blink of an eye, he's sure of that.

He's early by his standards, as always, a handful of minutes before the bell rings. The class is half-full at most, behind him there's a guy sleeping on a pillow - the next time he's definitely bringing his own too. Somewhere in front of him there's a girl who's doing her make up, barely awake and with one half of the face way too different from the other. To his right there's another dude scarfing down what looks a very late dinner instead of a breakfast. The teacher is doodling something on the blackboard and it sounds like he might be snoring. So the usual, everyday stuff.

What is unusual though, is what is happening to his left.

There's a kid in his class, only one row in front of him and just right to his left, Gintoki's seen him only a few times. He'd consider launching an investigation fueled by an unfamiliar burning curiosity to get to know more about him, if not for the fact that he hears his name being called whenever their attendance is taken.

His name is Toshiro Hijikata.

And he is definitely _noticeable._

Distinct qualities involve: dark messy hair, an athletic (sexy) build, an addiction to caffeine and… wait _what?_

From lack of attention on his part this is actually the first time Gintoki notices Toshiro has a Starbucks cup on his desk, but what jumps out to him is the colorful drink also perched atop the flat surface. It doesn't take him long to identify that as an energy drink. It's one of the _strong_ ones they show on television in some of those ridiculously macho commercials.

He thinks his heart stops when his classmate unscrews the cap of the drink and takes the lid off the cup, pouring the whole bottle inside the large coffee.

Never in his seventeen years and five months of uneventful life has Gintoki been more attentive than in this moment.

Now, chemistry is not his expertise, but he has a feeling that quantity of caffeine might equal to an impending, and idiotic, death. His first thought is obviously, _'Holy shit I'll see someone die in front of my eyes for the first time!'_

The midst of his panic-induced wakefulness is interrupted when the boy looks over at him and, oh, Gintoki's thought immediately changes to _'Please pierce my heart with those baby blues', _which is weird, but not as weird as his classmate giving him a smirk so sharp he could cut himself on the edge. Afterwards he takes the cup to his mouth, tilts it up and then… drinks the concoction.

Never in his seventeen years and five months of boring life has Gintoki been more awake.

Toshiro's adam's apple bobs perfectly as a small droplet of colored liquid slips past plump lips and makes an uneven line down his throat. But what has Gintoki's unsolicited attention are his eyes, never straying away from his own, making him feel like his soul is leaving his body.

After only a few moments Toshiro puts the now empty cup back down, smirk back in place and gorgeous blues gleaming beneath the pale yellow lights of the room. The boy goes even as far as licking the side of his mouth, _almost _giving the impression of doing so to tease him.

Never in his seventeen years and five months of unstimulating life has Gintoki been more turned on.

**.**

**.**

**.**

When the lesson ends and everyone is walking – too tired to rush- out of the class, Gintoki quickly takes out a bottle of water from his backpack and downs it like a starved man, eliciting a few worried glances from some of his zombie-fellas.

* * *

The next time Gintoki sees the boy again is three days and five hours later. (Not like he has been keeping count or anything.)

Toshiro is standing against the wall and nursing another cup of coffee, which Gintoki assumes has regular coffee inside, and maybe another energy drink, he doesn't know. When the boy notices him he smirks, again. Gintoki wonders if he's always this confident or if all that caffeine is numbing enough to make him so.

"Don't you want sugar with that?"

He really has no idea what prompts him to inquire, maybe he feels defeated after their 'first' meeting and wants to show him his own confidence, maybe he just wants to hear his voice. He doesn't even know if there's already sugar inside his cup either, and aren't energy drinks made mostly of sugar or something, that's why they're bad for the health? Gintoki currently ignores all of that, he is an ignorant boy, but there's not an ounce of him that cares.

"Nah."

_His voice_ _is_ _velvety soft, _Gintoki has goosebumps racing up and down his arms due to a single syllable, _holy shit._

Toshiro makes his way inside one of the mostly empty rooms and in doing so he walks past Gintoki. Their shoulders brush when the rest of the whisper comes softly to his right.

"I'm sweet enough as it is."

Well, _shit._

**.**

**.**

**.**

Gintoki ends up dunking his head under a very cold stream of water in the sink of the school's bathroom, much to the confusion of his schoolmates.

The heat radiating from his face has taken over his whole body in record-speed and his knees won't stop shaking, making him briefly wonder if his heart will turn into lava and dig a hole inside his body. He is surprisingly fine with that.

* * *

_'__Hey now, you're an _ _all star_ _, get your game on, go play.'_

With the very wise words of Smash Mouth's All Star filling his ears one last time Gintoki takes off his earbuds and makes his way to the gates of the school.

After another week filled with no contact except for the _burning _eye-contact, he has simply decided enough is enough. He is not going to desperately wait for months and months of conversation happening between them just to slowly get to know each other before he even thinks of making a move. What is he, the main character of a shojo manga?

Thinking of a way to ask on a date the most handsome guy he has ever seen led him to do research, which led to a night spent accidentally watching chick-flicks, which led to coffee shop encounters and cheesy pick-up lines, so he decided to pluck one from the bunch and use it. And it's dumb, but he's dumber, so it's okay, he will roll the dice and simply hope he doesn't lose the game.

Gintoki sees Toshiro right outside the gate, waiting to be picked up by the looks of it. He marches up to him with the heat of a hundred suns burning below his collar and he can't stop himself from thinking about just _how cool is it _that his apparently crush's first words to him were _those?_

Once he is in front of him, and with bravery he pretends he's always possessed, he launches his pick up line out in the open.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

His very courageous attempt is interrupted by a car pulling up, presumably Toshiro's ride, and Gintoki would be disappointed… if not for the fact that he _does_ receive an answer.

"No, but I scraped my knees when I crawled my way out of hell." How does the way he says it sound so _normal _when it makes Gintoki feel anything but? And just like that he leaves him with only a smirk behind the window, that seems softer around the edges, and the car soon speeds away.

A random dude passing by in that moment stares wide-eyed. And gives a low whistle. "Well, _damn."_

When it finally catches up to him the breath is punched out of Gintoki. His shoulders go so lax his backpack falls off.

"…I might have just fallen in love."

**.**

**.**

**.**

This time Gintoki ends up 'showering' in the courtyard of the school with one of the hoses there. His heart has melted and his soul has melted and everything inside him and surrounding him has melted, and he is left with nothing but a scorching warmth sizzling in his veins and the thought of going to the nearest convenience store to buy at least a dozen energy drinks.

The dude from before is keeping him company, nodding as if this shower is the most rational reaction ever after that kind of answer.

And by this point the mates at the school don't even question it anymore.

* * *

Feeling more awake than everyone in the classroom combined, Gintoki struts in the next morning with his arms full. He stops just in front of Toshiro's desk, staring at him as if waiting for a divine sign to make him make a move.

In the meantime he drops a large cup of regular black coffee on his desk, already unscrewing the taps of not one, but two bottles of energy drinks and transferring the contents inside the cup.

"Here." Gintoki offers it like a heart on a silver platter once he is finished, sliding the cup towards him. "For you."

There's a flicker of an unfamiliar but warm emotion that passes over Toshiro's eyes at the gesture and a mumbled '_thanks'_ makes its way past Gintoki's ears and right inside his heart, taking up a home there.

"Want a sip?" The beautiful–wow his eyes are so damn _blue _up close how has he never noticed before?- boy offers to him after he takes a sip of his own.

"I might die." Gintoki mutters dazed with less fear and more excitement than the situation probably calls for, thinking about indirect kisses shared this way does nothing to slow the anticipation curling in tight knots inside the pit of his stomach.

And the slow smirk spreading over Toshiro's lips at that is _angelic_. "I hear hell it's missing one handsome demon."

Gintoki decides that's the divine sign he's been waiting for and he throws himself in this game of love, throws himself _literally_ to the boy and smashes their mouths together. Not even a second later Toshiro is rising from his seat and he gets pulled, almost impossibly _closer_, even though there is still a very solid desk between them.

In Gintoki's opinion this would be a record-breaking-crowd-reeling- make-out session, if not for the fact that only one person is cheering. It's the dude asleep in the back, probably dreaming about chickens running around or something. A thud in the corner of the class also indicates the teacher has fallen to the floor, fast asleep.

"…Go on a date with me?" Gintoki manages to pant hesitantly against his lips, barely an inch away.

"Only if our first date is in a coffee shop." Toshiro all but mouths around a chuckle.

The heart-melting _smirk _belongs to Gintoki this time. "You just read my mind."

It ends up with Gintoki getting addicted to a caffeine addict and there's really nothing more he could ask for in his seventeen years and five months of now surprisingly not as boring life.

**Author's Note:**

> Do NOT mix coffee and energy drinks! Seriously guys, it's actually dangerous.
> 
> Also I may be considering doing a part 2 with Zura and Takasugi?


End file.
